“Everything is created from moment to moment, always new. Like fireworks, this universe is a celebration & you are the spectator contemplating the eternal Fourth of July of your absolute splendor.” — Francis Lucille

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Late Night Thoughts

I'm not really sure what I want to say here... just wanted to share some thoughts...

But first, I do want to say thank you to all my readers, it means so much to me! ^_^

Writing is difficult for me.  I have a hard time expressing myself, and I write at a 3rd grade reading level lol.  Which is kind of weird because I love reading nice thick books.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't have a map of which path to take.  I don't even know where I'm supposed to end up.  I have always had a hard time listing definite goals and I guess it is all catching up to me now.   I carry a constant prayer in my heart that the Universe will give me a hint (or shove) in the right direction.  Maybe I'm not patient enough.  Maybe I'm not listening hard enough.  I don't know what else to try.

I am working on self love because I have not been kind to myself for a long time.  And I really want to have an awesome life, full of creativity and love.  I want a billion dollars so I can give it all away.  Some days I feel like I am SO CLOSE to SOMETHING... but I can't quite figure out what or where.

That's one reason I created this blog.  To help me figure myself out, out loud.  And hopefully help someone in a similar situation.  I have so much energy inside, bottled up, I just don't know how to best direct it.  I am so scared to make the wrong choice, I am frozen.

Yet, I am inspired daily, reading about my heroes, people who refuse to conform and who are improving the world in powerful ways.  It's stories like theirs that keep me going.

And that's what I have to do, just keep going... just having faith in the Universe and believing in myself that I will make a positive impact.

Please don't misunderstand.  I don't mean for this to sound negative... I am actually very happy most of the time.  I just get a bit confused... thanks for listening :-)


  1. Dear Mel,

    Who am I to comment on such a post as this?

    I say I'm a Buddhist in which I am, but this is not actually who I truly am. So who am I? Perhaps it's this question in which reveals to me who I really am?

    So what is my purpose in life, is it to become materially rich? Or is it to become rich with true happiness that I've found for myself, that only can be found from within. So again, what is my purpose in life? For me, it's being wherever I'm at, at the time, which is being wherever that may be at the time, finding true happiness wherever that is.

    But once again, who am I, to comment on such a post as this?

    1. Thank you, Lon, for your comments. Your thoughts always encourage me to turn inward and to find solace in the answers I find there. May you and yours have peace and happiness in every moment!